Orwellian Oppression and Maybe One Other O-Word

Okay, I have to be quick here because there's no way I can tell you about this idiot driver who cut me off in under forty-five seconds if I take any time whatsoever to complain about this stupid new law Congress passed as a direct attack on people who just happen to like to really take their time in telling you a personal anecdote, you know, really fill in the story with details so you get a full picture of what exactly went on, I mean, I'm trying to tell you something interesting that happened to me and all of a sudden the government decides to spend four hundred million dollars to unfairly identify certain people as "boredom risks" or whatever the term is just because we want to share information with you, and the next thing I know I have this beeper sewn into my arm and God forbid I go above forty-five seconds to tell you something that happened to me which is really quite fascinating or they send a signal somewhere and I get some stupid fifteen dollar fine in the mail, so yeah anyway, this moron cut me off, you know that intersection across from Home Depot, right, well, I got in my car this morning, the Subaru because Hilary's using the Volvo this week, not that it matters to the story, and trust me you're gonna love this, it really goes to show you what kind of dimwits are out there driving, and now look I'm almost at the time limit already and I haven't even gotten to the part with the dog owner on his cell phone, so now there's almost no point in me even going on, so great, there's another perfectly fascinating little tidbit from my life I wanted to tell you about but NOW TRY AND TELL ME THAT IS NOT THE MOST ANNOYING BEEPING SOUND YOU'VE EVER HEARD, JUST TRY AND TELL ME YOU'VE EVER HEARD ANYTHING WORSE, I SWEAR, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I STILL LIVE IN THIS STUPID COUNTRY, BUT YEAH, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, MAYBE TRY TO TELL YOU THE STORY IN LITTLE BITS OVER THE COURSE OF THE DAY.