The Blog = Historical Accuracy!
Indeed, the Cavalcade of the Iffy is proud to announce that our crack team of LEARNED HISTORICAL INVESTIGATORS has, after years of effort, cracked the secret of
THE CRYPTIC BIBLICAL CODE OF THE APOSTLE
which has mystified lesser scholars for centuries, if not decades! Yes, the true meaning of the enigmatic string of hand-written numbers inscribed inside a temple in the city of Antioch and discovered by REAL-LIFE ARCHAELOGISTS WORKING AS HARD AS ANYONE CAN WORK is now public knowledge thanks to copious note-taking and a sudden shocking discovery! For those of you unfamiliar with
THE PERPLEXING BIBLICAL CODE OF THE APOSTLE
what follows is the numerical string in question, purportedly made by Paul the apostle during the early days of his ministry:
7 – 9 – 10 – 8 – 8 – 6 – 9 – 9
Paul’s very signature, authenticated by a panel of people who traffic in authenticating such things, proves that yes, the string was undoubtedly his work. Since its discovery in 1833, thousands of pages have been written about what secrets Paul may have been trying to embed within the deceptively simple code...was he giving a clue as to the whereabouts of the savior? Was it a key to unlocking vast wealth, or perhaps powerful information to be used in the relentless spiritual battle against Roman aggressors? Could it possibly have even represented a mathematical riddle designed to identify---wait for it---an as-yet unborn Anti-Christ?
NO, NO, AND NO
says this blog, for last week’s unearthing in Corinth of an eyewitness account of the creation of
THE INSCRUTABLE BIBLICAL CODE OF THE APOSTLE
written by Amicah of Damascus, one of Paul’s closest allies, proves once and for all that the string represents
A HALF HOUR WHEN PAUL WAS BORED WAITING FOR HIS LAUNDRY TO DRY AND DURING WHICH HE BEGAN TO KILL A LITTLE TIME BY RATING HOT WOMEN WHO WALKED BY.
Thank you for your interest and your support of the blog’s indomitable pursuit of facts, validity, and value for money! Next month, we take on
WHERE THE HELL JAMES EARL JONES'S LITERALLY BRAND NEW BOX OF WHEAT THINS DISAPPEARED TO