The Lessons Never Stop

It’s been a bad day. I made some discoveries.

You know what you shouldn’t eat first thing in the morning when you roll out of bed? Clams.

You know what you shouldn’t jokingly call the guy who’s interviewing you for a job even before he extends his hand to shake yours? A worthless pissant.

You know one of the worst denominations of American currency there is to dangle off a windy tenth story ledge because you’re kind of bored because you have nothing to do with the rest of the day after your job interview lasted ten seconds? A fifty.

You know where’s not a good place to go to find hot women in this town on a weekday? Antiques Roadshow.

You know what movie is not smart to watch with a forty-nine year old woman you met at Antiques Roadshow even if you wind up settling on her for the night? Glengarry Glen Ross.

You know when a bad time to start the movie is? One a.m.

You know what a mood killer is even if she were somehow able to get into the movie? The fact that you’re watching it on a portable DVD player as you sit in her station wagon in the parking lot of a Denny’s.

You know what’s surprisingly good at Denny’s, though? The veal.