O'Higginstein's Pub, Wednesday night, 10:38 p.m.

Yeah, you know, I think my problem was that I was basically typecast---oh, wait, let me get you another drink, beautiful. You’ve gotta try the Litigious Mexican, it’ll knock your socks off. Anyway, you have to understand the whole politics of the industry and how casting directors think, all that jazz. So no, I didn’t really accept any other major parts after we shot Hitch’s movie---ha, yeah, I always used to call him Hitch during our discussions about the film. He let me improvise, we had a good time. I mean, I was looking to get out of acting anyway, the hours were brutal, I was away from my girlfriend a lot, and I’m the kind of guy who really believes in romance and working at a relationship, you know? I didn't want potential fame to erode our love. So for the last few years I’ve just been doing the usual things, picking along the ground for stuff to eat, flying here and there, migrating when the time’s right, blah blah blah. I figure when a part really speaks to me I’ll get back in the game. I turned down a lot of bird roles, of course, because I want to expand my range, really craft my art, you know? But yeah, to make a long story short, I definitely consider myself still in the business, and I’m sure that if we spent some time together I could get a sense of your, um, essence, and maybe I could talk to some people, you know, some people I know on the lot. Maybe if we had dinner a couple of times….whoa, ha, go easy on that drink, it’s a killer…I remember when we were shooting the scene where I attack Tippi Hedren, it was so exhausting we all went to the nearest bar and---well, sure we can go back to my place to watch it! I should explain that what happened during the scene was that Hitch told me I was actually commanding too much presence, so he asked me if I would hang back, which is why I’m only on the edge of the screen and for a second and a half. Yeah, he wanted me to kind of nurture the other birds along, they kind of looked up to me….hey, did that guy over near the Keno machine just drop part of his sandwich? Sorry, I’m just gonna go check that out. Don’t you go anywhere, I want to tell you how I got into the part. I actually flew all the way to Vegas and back with a group of birds undergoing treatment for rabies just to master the character….what? No, no, I don’t think that’s George C. Scott over there…well, I wouldn’t bother going over, I know Georgie pretty well, and he’s not really very---um, okay.