Two Words: Golden Bigness

Is the Golden Bigness within you?

If you’re not a woman or a minority, the answer is an undeniable YES! You DO have Golden Bigness within you, and the blog is now dedicated to helping you discover it!

Golden Bigness has been determined to be the “X factor” which will enable you to succeed in business, relationships, and even hobbies like fishing or making your own ice cream. Don’t let your fears or a troubled past keep you from scaling the heights you were meant to---discover your Golden Bigness before someone else takes it!

Ever wonder how that star quarterback manages to throw a touchdown blitz, or how a police officer scores a big drug bust? Do you ever think to yourself, "How the heck do fabulous people win Halloween costume contests while I sit alone in my room night after night?" The answer is clear: they seized their own Golden Bigness, cultivated it, and let it shine. Until now, no one knew how to do it except them---but now their secret is out, and they hate everyone for it! The secret belongs to YOU, and the road to greatness is yours to savor.


Q: How do I go about bringing out my Golden Bigness in order to lead a better life?

A: The best thing about your Golden Bigness is that it’s the one part of your innerness that can be brought out with sheer physical effort. We have found that the best way to release it is through squeezing yourself through two closely set, rigid objects like a door frame or tree. There may be some pain involved, but the greater the effort, the more amazing the feeling of finding your Bigness will be! Some people even report being able to release their Bigness through shutting their eyes tight and pounding their head against a cupboard or yield sign. Once it’s out, there’s no stopping you---your confidence, courage, and charisma will all reach Star Wars levels!

Q: Will I also lose weight?

A: We guarantee that you’ll not only lose weight, but you’ll keep it off too. Rumors that you may become grossly obese are wildly untrue and have been maliciously spread in order to undermine the program, its sponsors, and the hardworking people of middle America.

Q: How much will it cost me to find my Golden Bigness?

A: The actual finding and releasing of your Golden Bigness is ABSOLUTELY FREE, and your credit card will not be charged the $250 processing fee until you’re fully satisfied that your life has changed for the better!

Q: My credit card was charged for the processing fee somehow even before I enrolled in the program. Why is that?

A: Only your Golden Bigness---a mystical concept re-discovered after more than four THOUSAND years---holds the key to lifelong success and a brand new outlook on life. This exciting wave of the future, which renders all other self-help programs obsolete in less than fifteen seconds, has been embraced by celebrities such as Valerie Perrine and Lee J. Cobb. Call today!