You Try to Help People.

I’d just like everyone to know that this is really the LAST time I can run the following blog column, which, since it was first published back in 2006, has become by far the most requested one, to the point where I can no longer respond to people asking me to run it again. Despite its usefulness, which I guess I am now completely convinced of, I can’t just keep printing it over and over for those of you who missed it the first, tenth, and twentieth times. I’m not sure if this particular column’s popularity is simply a sign of our increasingly stressful technological times or if the demand for such advice has some other root, but here it is ONCE more:

HOW TO WRITE ALL YOUR USERNAMES, LOGINS AND PASSWORDS ON YOUR CAT FOR EASY REFERENCE

1) Wait until your cat is in a mellow mood and not paying very close attention to what you’re doing.

2) Lift up your cat and with a non-toxic, erasable marker, write all your usernames, logins and passwords on it so you can easily access them if you forget what they are.

3) Let the cat return to its business; wash the usernames, logins and passwords off once in a while for security reasons.

(P.S. Portions of the second most-requested blog column, “How to Precariously Stack Burning Candles,” are being permanently withdrawn pending class action litigation against myself the column’s co-author, actor Colin Farrell.)