The Blog Presents....
THE TREAT WILLIAMS TRILOGY: THE SHOOTING SCRIPTS
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“TREAT WILLIAMS 1: THE ADVENTURE BEGINS”
Guy 2 is fishing for trout beside a serene midwestern lake on a summer’s day. Guy 1 approaches, drinking a Tab.
GUY 1: Hey man, Treat Williams left another message on the machine.
GUY 2: Oh yeah? What did he say?
GUY 1: He said…well, he just said to cut it out.
GUY 2: That’s it?
GUY 1: Yeah.
GUY 2: Did he sound like he meant it?
GUY 1: Yeah….yeah, he really did.
Guy #2 stares out over the lake.
GUY 2: Damn. Maybe I should, then.
“TREAT WILLIAMS 2: INCIDENT IN ANN ARBOR”
The scene is a sedately decorated meeting hall.
NAZI PAWN: Mein Fuhrer...we’ve received some news.
HITLER: Yes? Tell me, damn your eyes, tell me!
NAZI PAWN: Treat Williams....has said no.
HITLER: No to what? To the entire plan, or just parts of it? Speak, curse your soul, speak!
NAZI PAWN: I’m afraid he said no….to the entire plan.
The Fuhrer turns pensively and looks out the window down upon the snowy street, where Himmler is emerging from the back of a car. The camera SLOWLY ZOOMS in on his grizzled, worried face. Then cut back to an EXTREME CLOSE-UP of Hitler.
HITLER (ominously, to himself): Plans can change.
“TREAT WILLIAMS 3: THE LONG JOURNEY HOME”
Guy 1 and Guy 2 sit across from each other at a scuffed wooden table.
GUY 1: Look, dude, I think it’s good and everything, it’s just not Treat Williams good.
GUY 2: Um….yeah. Okay. Fine. Sure. Whatever.
GUY 1: I mean, there’s no need to get angr---
GUY 2: What do you know about Treat Williams?! I lived with Treat Williams! I bought Treat Williams bread and paper towels when he had nothing! Nothing!
GUY 1: Huh. I did not know that.
GUY 2 (calmer): Well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know until you ask.