I, Of Course, Take None of the Profits
Friend and Neighbor, you can----and will----endure with this special offer.
You know, in this life, we're confronted by so many challenges to our faith. It's tough sometimes to find peace when we're so busy with our jobs and our families. And for some people, it's even harder to understand that God has a plan for us whatever occurs in our lives. Once in a while, we have to endure depression, tragedy, hard luck, and sometimes, freak accidents. That's why Itco International is so happy to tell you about a very special CD collection filled with inspirational songs that will get you through the hardest of times.
God Will Make It Okay That I Don't Have Any Thumbs offers you more than 700 CDs and over 8,400 songs that will renew your soul and revitalize your family. Just read these testimonials from people who bought the collection and whose hearts were rewarded by it:
Harry Noseheinz, age 34, unemployed butcher
When that pelican got into that voting booth somehow and bit off my thumbs, it seemed like God had abandoned me. Every time I looked down at my eight fingers, and nothing sitting there beside them, I lost a little more of my faith. But then I heard track #44 on CD #61, a song called The Thumbless Will Sit Beside My Throne, and I realized that Jesus hadn't abandoned me when my thumbs did. He'd given me an opportunity to be stronger than I was.
Yes, Harry Noseheinz found his way back to God, and so can you, no matter how badly you miss your thumbs. When Mark Bumpass was forced to cut off his own thumbs at gunpoint to repay a debt he lost gambling on the outcome of American Idol, it felt like the end of the world. But then track #96 on CD #77 changed everything.
Mr. Bumpass, age 49, unemployed butcher
I had just about thrown in the towel....well, more like pushed in the towel, because, you know, it's tough to throw anything with my thumbless hands....when I found the CD collection in the dumpster behind Tony Roma's Ribs. I took it home and I put on a random song....and it was called As Long as I Have Palms, The Sun Will Shine Again. Now I listen to that damn song thirty, forty times a day. Sometimes a hundred times a day. I quit my job just so I can listen to it. The weird thing is, it's not even that good.
When you buy the full seven hundred CD set of God Will Make It Okay That I Don't Have Any Thumbs, we'll include a special eight-hour video filled with interviews just like these, as well as a bonus CD with fourteen inspirational songs all about keeping your faith through even the worst case of pink-eye. Order it today! Operators are standing by. (Just one, actually, so you have to kind of hold on.)