I Shall Dazzle You With Knowledge, Commoner

I spent about nine hours in the library yesterday researching some fun facts for you. Did you know that.....

Not only can advanced computer technology pit the greatest baseball teams of all time against each other in simulated World Series, it can also now tell us with 88.6 percent certainty who would win if Ernie and Bert ever got into a shiv fight.

In his darker moods, popular children's musician Raffi has recorded such unfriendly works as "Pillow Covers Mouth", "The Shutup Song", and "Not One More Word Out of You, You Changeling Midget, I Swear to God, Not One More".

Geologists at the University of Washington have found that ashes from the 1980 Mount St. Helens explosion taste just fine on a cracker.

Most scientists feel that cats can fly if they really, really have to.

The spoken language of the primitive Shuriyan Indian tribe of the Yikiaya Forest has no word for "fandango".

The phrase "grand funk" is found twice in the Declaration of Independence.

The original American flag showed Betsy Ross in a tube top underneath the slogan "Ooh yeah, who wants pancakes?"

Purists can rest easy: The chances are only 1 in 15,500,000 that our current National Anthem will ever be replaced by the theme from Saved By the Bell.

When such factors as foreign ancillaries, tertiary market royalties, and distribution residuals are factored in, the highest grossing motion picture of all time is Baby Geniuses.

A fully deconstructed atom bears an almost perfect resemblance to screen actor Danny Aiello.