Your Internet Questions Answered!

We open the blog today to your questions about the Internet.

Q: Is it true that I can use the Internet to look up the dates of famous wars in American history?

A: Yes, this is true! More than half of all major world wars since 1800 have some sort of information about them online. If you have a state-of-the-art computer, you can even look at still photographs of battles on some web sites.

Q: I was walking down the street the other day and I saw a nice tree. Is it true that I can use the Internet to find out what kind of tree I was looking at?

A: Yes, this is also true! From elms to saplings, the web has plenty of information about trees. (Types of trees beginning with the letters A-D or T-Z might have no info available as yet.) Not only can you learn about trees, but you can use the Internet to educate yourself about the sizes of various coins.

Q: I have to move to Phoenix from Atlanta. Is it possible to attach all my personal possessions, including my car and my house, to an e-mail message, then send it and receive everything on the other end? I have a Hewlett Packard PC 860 with a 56k modem and a 16 gigabyte hard drive.

A: This is a tough one. You may have to switch from a standard corded mouse to an infrared cordless variety. This can only be done if you have RAM. If you don't have RAM, you won't have any flat padding to skate the mouse over.

Q: Why isn't it called the Electro-File instead of the Internet?

A: I have no idea.

Q: Why are the letters on the keyboard arranged the way they are?

A: Again, I just don't have the answer.

Q: What does the "http" mean before a web address?

A: If I knew that, I'd pretty much be an all-knowing, all-seeing god, wouldn't I? And guess what, it turns out I'm just human like everybody else. I don't know all there is to know, I make mistakes, I bounce checks, I lose my patience with pets.

Q: I'm the person who asked about the dates of famous American wars a minute ago. I just typed in "Civil War" on Google and my computer told me that nothing matched my query. Why did this happen?

A: You screwed something up.

Q: Could you just tell me the dates of the Civil War?

A: I'm

That's it for this week's edition of Your Internet Questions Answered! Next week we'll have a guest panelist who will teach you how to use your computer's On button to shave deli meats.

Suddenly I am very thirsty. You ever get that way?