An Offer So Wonderful, You Should Be Paying Me

Congratulations, Citizen! Merely by reading this blog posting, you have been chosen to be sacrificed to the Old Ones of Yog Sid-dith! Yes, this Tuesday at 3 p.m., a Cadre of sinister Elders will recite certain key Phrases from the dreaded Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred, releasing the unholy Chains that bind the winged Daemons born to the Goat of a Thousand Young! From the bottom of the Seas they shall flock to the Altar of Shagg-Yash and quiver in a nightmarish Dance of Death, celebrating the new Age in which Man shall be enslaved to the Conqueror Worm---and YOU will be there! Just check "YES" at the Bottom of this horrible Form and we'll take care of the Rest!