The Double-Edged Sword of Small Business
Coming up with a logo for a new company is hard enough, but when it's your own company, whew, it's even harder. I've been coming up with ideas and tossing them out just as fast this whole day. The problem is that our product is so difficult to express. I need a logo that says to the client: "We here at Central Assassination Services are ready to train your secret operatives in the process of killing human targets remotely through extra-sensory thought projection three hundred and sixty-five days a year." So at first I thought I'd just draw a pair of red eyes with lines shooting out of them to represent thought lasers, and have the lasers hitting the letters C.A.S., but Donna, the cool morning barista down at Starbucks, said that seemed a little over-the-top, so next I tried out a drawing of a robot with its jaws open standing over a dead body, but then I thought, Well, we don't really have robots working for us, so even though it would seem cool, I had to toss that idea too. Another logo which didn't work at all was a big pulsating brain with blood dripping from it. It was perfect, but it was just too tough to draw. I don't really know how to draw 'pulsating'. I tried to do it using little lightning bolts, but it seemed all wrong. My mailman just started laughing when he saw it. He suggested a simple design with the letters C.A.S. set against a black field, the theory being that our clients wouldn't be too impressed by fancy artwork, since they're all very busy trying to figure out exactly who to kill remotely through extra-sensory thought projection, and when to do it, and how to get away with it, which seemed like a fair point. But then I remembered: sex sells! So what I've just about settled on is a hot girl in a bikini peering over a pair of sunglasses. Animals are good in ads too, I've noticed---that Sugar Smacks gopher warms my heart every time I look at him at the breakfast table!---so I might change the girl to a chicken and the sunglasses to one of those old-timey bicycles with the one huge wheel and the one teeny-tiny wheel. I have to settle this issue soon because we have to start thinking about shooting our commercial and buying ad time on channel 44 during the Long and Foster Sunday Showcase of Homes.